Saturday, July 21, 2007

Today's Biblical Contradictions 7.21.2007

How many sons did Abraham have?

He has one.

"By faith Abraham when he was tried, offered up Isaac, ... his only begotten son." ~ Hebrews 11:17

"Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, ... and offer him there for a burnt offering." ~ Genesis 22:2

Oh, wait, no, he had more than one.

"Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah. And she bare him Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah." ~ Genesis 25:1-2

"Abraham had two sons; the one by a bond-woman, and the other by a free woman." ~ Galatians 4:22

How about this? Can anyone see God? No, of course not. He is all-powerful, an infinite. As Exodus 3:20 says, if we were to see God, we would die. So much for seeing him when we get to Heaven.

"No man hath seen God at any time." ~ John 1:18

"There shall no man see me, and live." ~ Exodus 3:20

"No man hath seen God at any time." ~ 1 John 4:12

OH WAIT! Nevermind...God takes that back. Yeah, we can see him. Or can we? The whole goddamned book is pretty confusing actually. It's funny that Bush used the term "flip-flopper" for Kerry all the time. I mean, knowing God, Bush should know a true flip-flopper, right?

"And the LORD appeared unto Abram, and said, Unto thy seed will I give this land: and there builded he an altar unto the LORD, who appeared unto him." ~ Genesis 12:7

"And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him...." ~ Genesis 17:1

"I saw the Lord standing upon the altar: and he said, smite the lintel of the door, that the posts may shake." ~ Amos 9:1

Okay, I'll stop. I really don't feel like typing up the other twenty-seven times in the Bible that man sees God face to face. You'll just have to take my word for it. Okay, here's one more, just in case you don't believe me.

"And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh to his friend." ~ Exodus 33:11

There you go. Stay tuned for more exciting contradictions!

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